Bruce Crestwood

Bruce Crestwood is a character in As The Orb Turns. He attends Wacovia High School.

Bio
Though not named, the first appearance of Bruce is in New Friends. He was a third grade boy, picking on young Lorelei Finch, chanting "Chubby-chubby two-by-four / Can't fit through that open door!" Clarence chased him away by throwing his wool hat in the mud.

He was the captain of Wacovia High's football team and the most popular guy at school. Consequently, he always dated cheerleaders.

In March 1991, Chrome Bumper set him up on a one-eyed date (she knew of him, he didn't know her) with Lorelei. However, due to her weight, she was afraid he would toss her aside. So she stuffed herself into an old corset to make herself look presentable, and he was fooled.

He took her to see Reverse Our Own Future History, sequel to his favorite film, This Event Will Occured in the Present at the drive-in along the Grover Highway, halfway between Wacovia and Westminster.

About halfway through the film, however, while Bruce was in the bathroom, Lorelei's corset broke, revealing her full figure. But when Bruce found out the truth, he confessed that he actually preffered bigger girls! So they officially became a couple.

However, in May that same year, Bruce was revealed to be fake-dating a cheerleader to cover up the fact he was [secretly] with Lorelei. This was because he was convinced that were he to confess to liking fat girls, his friends would abandon him and it would cost him his popularity. Heartbroken, Lorelei broke up with him, and later Clarence Roland went to challenge him to a fight, calling him out for his behavior and inturn revealing it to all present. However, his friends didn't seem upset because he was dating Lorelei, so much as because he lied to them and used Valerie (the cheerleader he was fake-dating). This cost him his popularity.

The last time we see Bruce is when Christine Peck who goes to try to set him straight. Sadly, he cannot comprehend what she is saying, implying he is profoundly ignorant as to how people are.

Meta-info
A jock boyfriend character named Bruce has existed in Lotz's works in some form for years.

Reverse Our Own Future History is a reference to MS Outlook's calendar program, which sometimes produces an error message that would read: "Warning: Cannot reverse-merge a range from a path's own future history."